how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
