i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize