That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Congratulations! We have a period
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
