i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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