I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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