We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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