he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
