Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
