Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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