i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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