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just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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