We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
