WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
