this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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