It's like God shit irony all over that family
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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