so that wasnt chicken after all
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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