she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
