What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Randomize