I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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