oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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