Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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