wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
