We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
