That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
