i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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