I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
