im having a threesome with these popsicles
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
