i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
