When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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