so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
