My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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