I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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