Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
