i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
