can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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