Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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