Sry I called you an 8
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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