Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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