Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
