guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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