I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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