Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
