Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
