i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
