Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
