i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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