Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
