just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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