This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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