no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
