Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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