I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
