question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
