This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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