they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Enjoy the penises
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
