Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Still dying that you shit outside
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
