Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
