My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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