i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
