all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
