I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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